Quest for the Giant Cookie!
by Sailorstar165
Summary: Lust steals Ed's giant cookie and the Elric go out to find it. Can they get the cookie back and away from the Otaku United? Well... Who knows? Otaku United show up in 2nd chapter
1. The Creation and the Cookie Quest

**Chapter 1: The Creation and the Cookie Quest**

"Human Kind can gain nothing without first giving something in return." Al said. "This is the first law of Alchemy. In those days, we believed it to be the world's one and only-"

"Yeah, yeah, Al. Just give me the box of Oreos already." Ed said, holding out his hand impatiently.

"Yes brother, but what the hell are you gonna do with them?" Al asked.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! AL SWORE!" Ed screamed.

"So? What're you gonna do with the cookies?"

"Easy. I'm gonna transmute the biggest cookie ever and laugh in the Colonel's face." Ed laughed evilly.

"But brother!" Al screamed. "That could be dangerous! Creating a cookie that big could be really bad!"

"Who cares?" Ed took the pack of cookies. He clapped his hands and transmuted it into one giant cookie. "MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I NOW HAVE A COOKIE THE SIZE OF MYSELF! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Brother, you're scaring me..." Al shuddered.

Lust grinned darkly and stole the giant cookie. "Ha! Now I've gotten the cookie!" She ran away with her little friends and that was it.

"No! They stole our cookie!" Ed yelled, grabbing his coat. ((The red one with the symbol on the back.))

"Brother! Wait up!" Al chased after him.

"Ed! Al! Where are you going!" Winry ran out to watch them leave.

"To get my cookie back!" Ed called over his shoulder. "That stupid Lust stole it!"

* * *

"Great... Now we're lost..." Ed muttered, looking around the dense forest.

"Brother, I'm scared..." Al shuddered.

"Come on Al! There's nothing to be scared of!"

There was a cracking noise in a bush.

"What was that?" Al cried.

"Probably a squirrel."

"It was too loud to be a squirrel!"

There was another cracking sound, and a hamster riding a fox with 2 tails jumped at Ed. "This will be a great lunch!" The hamster yelled.

"You can't eat meat you rodent! This one's mine!" The fox yelled.

"What the!" Ed cried in shock. "Quit trying to eat my hair!"

"Wait... That's hair? I thought it was spaghetti." The hamster muttered.

Al passed out screaming.

The fox poked the unconscious suit of armor. "Is it OK?" She asked.

"What? Al? Yeah, he's fine. What're you though?"

"Oh! We're... Experiments that escaped from an Alchemy lab..." The fox sighed. "My name's Eve and the hamster's name is Bob."

"Anywho, I'm Ed and he's Al." Ed smiled. "Anyway, we have to be on our way."

"For what?" Bob asked, rubbing his brown fur.

"Lust stole our giant Oreo cookie, and we're gonna get it back."

"Really? We'll help then." Eve jumped onto Ed's shoulder. "We could come in handy."

Al sat up. "Are the killer animals gone yet?"

"We aren't killers. We're Chimeras." Bob corrected. "Experiments really."

"We're coming along." Eve grinned evilly, but it looked more like she was bearing her teeth.

"Brother! Can we trust them?" Al asked.

"No clue. We won't know until we try Al." Ed turned to leave. "You know the way out of here?"

"Of course!" said Bob. "Let's go!"

They all left.

* * *

_**Meanwhile, Back at Lust's House...**_

"Can I eat it?" Gluttony asked, drooling.

"No! We must keep it so I can win the bake off!" Envy shouted.

"No. We're using it as bait to bring Full Metal and his friends here." Lust laughed.

They all started laughing like maniacs, until Lust hit them both on the head.

"Shut up! I'm the only one allowed to do the evil laugh!"

**Er... TBC?**

Yeah, I know, it's completely random and makes no sense... Yet... Anywho, I think I got the names right. I'm sorry it was short! And on that confusing note, I hope you enjoyed it! I had a bad day today, so if it sounds a little off from what I usually write, I'm sorry.


	2. Otaku United Steals the Cookie!

**Chapter 2: The Otaku United Steals the Cookie**

Bet you can't guess what **_THIS_** chapter's about... Review corner!

**SomeoneInThePastOfEarth: I think it's kind of obvious that I don't own any of the FMA cast. That's why it's a "fanfic". Sorry if I sound rude. You get a cookie for being the first reviewer! (gives giant cookie, but is chased away by Ed and Al)**

**QOL: Thanks for the help! I suck at spelling. I'd die without spell check.**

**Zeldalover: Yeah... My friends thought that when I told them what was going to happen in this fic. They either said "Awesome" or "?".**

**Ravenf6: Yeah. This story was actually based off of something my bro said. He wished he could do that with a cookie, and this kind of branched off. If you want to read his fics, he's Black Ryu Lord. He's on my favorites.**

**Nelja: Yeah, I did poke too much fun at Al. I'm going to make fun of the evil in this chapter, then make fun of Ed in the next. Everyone will be made fun of in the final chapter, whenever THAT will be...**

**Ed is Sexy: Finally! Someone mentions that this fic is random! You get a cookie! (tries to give cookie, but Ed and Al mistake it for giant cookie, and is chased away again)**

**Kristanite: Wow... One word response. Nice!**

**Hurkydoesntknow: Thanks for reading this! I know you like my KH fics, so I'm glad you liked this one!**

**SamEdCarolSanoKatieHaru: You have a long penname... What's Excel Sage? Anyway, I'm glad you liked this fic. Yes, it is stupid humor, and it will just get weirder...**

**Smoothlady15: Yeah, I know. Poor Al. Why not feel sorry for Ed? He's vertically challenged!**

**Firaga: More Lust bashing in future. Next time you review, please leave your email so I can help with the KH. Which game is it? Chain of Memories or the original? I can help with both. Ansem creeps me out...**

Man, that's a lot of reviews. I have a major pet peeve. **ANONYMOUS REVIEWS, COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAILS?** That is all.

* * *

"So **_THAT'S_** the giant cookie." Said a slightly chubby boy of about 14. He had black hair and was wearing an Alucard coat ((Alucard is from Hellsing)). "I know I can steal it!"

"Me too!" A boy genius with brown hair nodded. He and the other boy made most of the weapons the Otaku United used, but half the time the things didn't work. He was a 13 year old with an obsession for light sabers and Star Wars.

"Damn it Donut! You too Firefox!" A girl with black hair and green eyes yelled. She was also 14. "We need to steal it! **_WE_, **as in, **_NOT I_**!"

"I bet it would go great with mustard..." A girl with reddish blonde hair and blue eyes mumbled dreamily. She was 13 and obsessed with the tangy yellow condiment known as mustard. "Don't you think Rachel?"

"No! We **_ARE NOT_** mustarding it." The girl with black hair yelled.

"What's with you and mustard anyway, Effie?" A chubby girl with short wavy blonde hair and brown eyes asked. She was 13 with acid spit and could heal from injury within 48 hours. All of Otaku United swore she was half demon.

"Well, it's good for you! You didn't know that, Cassie?" Effie looked up.

"Quiet! You'll scare away the prey!" A girl with newly dyed purple hair and brown eyes growled. "I must get the cookie to hunt Son Goku!" ((We all know who she is...))

"Why does Lust live in a bright pink house? I seriously expected my mother to live in a gothic castle!" A girl with shoulder length blonde hair and glasses said.

"Tiffany! SHE IS **_NOT_** YOU MOTHER!" Donut yelled.

"Guys! Be quiet! We don't want to have Lust find out we're trying to steal it!" A girl with blonde hair and blue eyes hissed. She was 13, and new a ton about anime and video games. "Now, I have a plan for us loyal members of Otaku United to steal that cookie!"

A few minutes later, they were all dressed as Girl Scouts. ((I am a Girl Scout, so please don't say I'm disrespecting them. I am making fun of... our troop a little.)) They rang the Door Bell.

"Yes?" Gluttony answered the door. "Can I help...? GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! I'll get some money! Of course I'll buy some! Come in!" He pushed them inside.

"That was easy... Your plan actually worked for once, Selena." Donut commented. "But why do me **_AND_** Firefox have to wear these Girl Scout uniforms?"

"These are creepy..." Firefox shivered. "There's not even a place for a light saber in these vests."

"Shut up Donut. You too Firefox, or I'll give you both back to those wolves at the Death Star." Selena growled.

"Now where's the cookie? Do you smell it Cassie?" The girl with purple hair asked.

"No. Some horrible smell is blocking my nose, Ame!" Cassie looked down at a pathetic poodle with a Mohawk. "Since when did Lust own a dog?"

"Our sources say that that's Fee Fee and that she belongs to Envy." Effie muttered. "Can I pour mustard on it?" ((One track mind...))

"NO!" Rachel shook her head.

Cassie was poking the weak canine. "This little guys a lot better behaved than Cocoa!" She smiled. Fee Fee bit her finger. "AHHHH! IT'S WORSE THAN MY DOG!" She tried to fling the canine off of her finger.

Selena grabbed the dog and pulled it off. "It has no teeth..." She commented.

"I knew that! I was just trying to," Cassie paused, "scare it away so it wouldn't bite you guys!"

"Right..." Everyone said at once.

"Here's the money!" He handed them 120 dollars and shoved them out the door. "I'll take that." He took Effie's bottle of mustard.

"HEY! MY MUSTARD!" Effie screeched as if it was the end of the world. She ran into the closed door and started pounding it with her fists. "GIVE ME BACK MY MUSTARD!"

"It's gone! We'll have to think of another way to sneak in!" Rachel said, trying to think.

"We could dress up like Santa and go down the chimney!" Cassie suggested.

"But none of us are fat enough to be Santa." Ame said.

"Donut might be." Rachel commented.

"What do you think Tiffany?" Selena turned to her.

"Well, besides knowing the Girl Scout cookie thing would be a dud, we don't look anything like Santa." She nodded.

"I will once I eat that giant cookie!" Cassie suggested.

"NO!"

"We could ride a bunch of llamas inside while singing the Llama Song to drive them insane." Tiffany said thoughtfully.

"But how will that help us get the cookie?" Donut asked.

"I don't know! It would be fun though!"

Ame thought for a minute. "She has a good point..."

"I say we dress up as the judges from that baking contest Envy entered." Rachel beamed. "We'll get in for sure!"  
"That's a great idea!" Donut nodded. "Let's do that!"

This time, they paid the judges to **_NOT_** judge and stole their clothes. They knocked on the door.

"Hello?" Lust answered.

"Hello!" Rachel said, trying to sound serious. "We're the judges for the Sugar Sweet Baking Contest, here to judge Envy's flesh and bone cookies..." Rachel shuddered at the thought.

"Hmm... Gluttony!" Lust called.

Gluttony at one of the clipboards and the Otaku United ran away in fear. "That tasted like chicken..." Gluttony commented.

"Good job at scaring away the House Salesmen!" Lust patted Gluttony on the head. ((Um... They said the were from the contest... Lust's an idiot...))

"Were the judges here?" Envy asked, holding up cookies so charred, they weren't even edible.

"OK! Donut, you **_MUST_** have a plan that'll work from all those MGS games." Selena breathed. "As leader, I believe in your plan."

"I have the perfect plan!" Donut planted some C4 outside the house and everyone hid in the bushes. "Home made plastic explosives!"

"Um... You sure those work?" Firefox asked. "Cause if they don't, I can always chop them up with my light saber."

"This is from the batch that does work! Don't worry!"

Gluttony came out and ate the C4, which exploded in his mouth. "It tasted like Pop Rocks, but with more boom!" Gluttony said, looking for more.

"Dude! You just ate C4!" Donut stood up.

"Donut!" Effie whispered harshly. "Get down!"

"Got anymore?" Gluttony asked greedily.

Firefox jumped out of the bush with light saber and tried to slice Gluttony into pieces.

Lust came out and blocked him with her super long finger nails. "High there handsome! I wouldn't try to dice my partners."

"Lady, you need a manicure!" Rachel yelled.

"I could help! I could paint her nails!" Effie held up a thing of mustard. "Firefox could trim them with his light saber!"

Lust smiled. "Oh could you? That would be... Hey! You're trying to trick me!" She yelled. ((Not the brightest crayon in the box, is she?))

"No duh..." Selena grabbed the rest of the club and ran. "OK! New plans!"

"We could drown the house in mustard!" Effie grinned.

"But that would destroy the cookie." Tiffany pointed out.

"So? There'd be lots of mustard!"

"I know!" Ame said, smiling. "We sneak into the house at night, using our L33T ninja skills we learned from watching Naruto DVDs and reading MegaTokyo too much!" ((lol, Naruto rocks!))

"That's actually the best idea we've heard yet." Rachel nodded. "It makes sense."

"I know that'll work! We just need to find some ninja suits and wear our headbands we got at the convention!" Ame nodded.

* * *

Later that night, everyone was wearing their different headbands. They all wore black, except Effie, who wore a mustard yellow suit.

"How'd you get that yellow...?" Tiffany asked.

"I dyed it with mustard!" Effie grinned.

"Come on!" Ame said, adjusting her Sand Ninja headband. "We have the ninja gear, let's go in!"

"Must I be a ninja? I prefer Jedi!" Firefox complained.

"Fine! You're a ninja Jedi! Happy?" Rachel sighed.

They opened the door and to their horror...

"THEY HAVE MUSTARD YELLOW WALLS!" Effie cried happily.

"Well, our disguises are useless..." Donut sighed.

"I am a ninja! You cannot see me! I am invisible to the human eye!" Ame laughed.

"Ame! Be quiet!" Selena said, trying not to laugh.

"I can't be quiet! What do I look like? A ninja?" She said it very seriously.

Everyone fell over laughing.

"Come... Come on." Selena giggle, leading them to the snack cupboard. "The cookie's in here."

Rachel tried to open it. "It's locked."

Ame pulled out a pin. "We can pick the lock."

"That'll take to long. I have a llama grazing lesson tomorrow. I don't want to be here all night." Tiffany nodded.

"Um... Tiffany? What's so hard about grazing?" Donut asked.

"It's horribly hard! I mean, eat and step, eat and step! God! It's the most difficult thing on the planet!" Tiffany glared.

Donut sighed and put miniature grenades on the door. They exploded and the door fell off its hinges.

Selena grabbed the cookie. "Mission accomplished."

Rachel frowned. "Where'd Effie and Donut go?"

Effie came back loaded with mustard, while Donut came back with, you guessed it, donuts.

"Guys! We have to get out of here!" Selena grabbed them and dragged them out.

"Ew... These donuts taste like charcoal..." Donut mad a face.

* * *

The next morning, Lust, Gluttony, and Envy woke up to find a great surprise.

"SOMEONE STOLE MY MUSTARD!" Gluttony screamed like a little girl.

"Someone stole my Bone yard donuts! And the judges never came!" Envy cried like Effie without mustard. ((couldn't resist))

"That doesn't matter!" Lust barked. "Someone took the giant cookie!"

Ed and Al walked in. "Someone took the cookie? Damn! Al, come on. We have to go find the thieves who took our cookie from the thieves." Ed turned to leave.

"Wait up Brother!" Al quickly followed with Eve and Bob on his shoulders.

"Faster Metal Man!" Bob yelled.

"Yes! Faster Al!" Eve pounded the back of Al's head.

"Stop it you 2!" Al cried, hurrying after Ed.

* * *

That was very long and random. I hoped you liked it. I don't need characters, but I based the Otaku United members off of a bunch of my friends.

**Donut: AlucardXIII**

**Rachel: Rachel, who's not on this site.**

**Ame: Kurokagome**

**Firefox: Firefox116**

**Selena: Me, of course!**

**Effie: Effie, who's not on this site.**

**Tiffany: Dark Fearie Witch Faye was her penname I'm pretty sure...**

I hope you enjoyed that chapter. I'VE BEEN ON FANFICTION FOR OVER A YEAR NOW! YAY! Anywho, later everyone!


	3. The End! Well, sort of

**Chapter 3: THE END! (sort of...)**

More randomness. Don't worry; the fic's not done yet. Review Corner time!

**Ravenf6: The fic's only gonna get more random. I agree about Gluttony.**

**SomeoneInThePastOfEarth: (Ed and Al in charge of this one) SHE'S GOT THE COOKIE! GET HER!**

**SamEdCarolSanoKatieHaru: I'll watch Excel Saga then. When and if I ever get around to it... Thanks for the giant cookie! Happy Cookie Day to you too!**

**PsychoNeko15: That's ok with the characters. I'm always confused. That's what makes my fics so funny. If you actually understood half the stuff in random things like this, it wouldn't be very funny, now would it?**

Onto the fic of random! Enjoy!

* * *

"Where are we now...?" Ed asked Eve and Bob.

"Our stop." They hopped off in front of a bus stop. "Good luck finding that cookie of yours." Eve said calmly.

"And where would you be going?" Al asked.

"We're going to Hollywood and become rich and famous, own a mansion with a swimming pool, butlers, and millions of different kinds of nuts!" Bob said happily.

"See! I told you! There's a flying hamster!" A boy with brown hair yelled.

"Get back here!" A girl with short blonde hair called. "That's not one of your flying hamsters! I'm really sorry." She said with a laugh. "Chris is insane."

"And you aren't?" Chris said simply. "Where's your pan flying hamster?"

"What's with the hamster...?" Eve asked.

"He keeps thinking he sees flying hamsters in chef hats cooking sausage..." The girl sighed. "Come on Chris. I see a flying hamster in that direction." She pointed in the other direction.

"But I need flying hamsters to complete my plan of stealing the giant cookie!" Chris moaned. "You know that, right Andrea?"

The girl sighed. "THE HAMSTER IS NOT A FLYING ONE! HAMSTERS **_DO NOT_** FLY!"

"Yes they do!" He started wandering off in the direction Andrea had pointed. "There's a hamster!" He muttered.

"OK..." Ed and Al scratched their heads with anime sweat drops.

"Wait!" Al said suddenly. "They're part of the group that stole the cookie from the Homonculi!"

"No, really? They just said!" Ed was already hot on their heels.

* * *

"This will taste the best with mustard!" Effie said, pulling out her stolen mustard.

"Stop it! You'll mess up the cookie!" Donut yelled.

"Yeah!" Rachel grabbed the mustard.

"My mustard!" Effie yelled.

"Why'd you guys leave me behind!" Chris yelled at them. "I had a plan to get the cookie too you know!" He pulled out a schematic. "See?"

"That would work, IF THERE WERE SUCH THINGS AS FLYING HAMSTERS!" Selena yelled.

"You wandered off in search of your flying hamsters that cook sausage, remember?" Firefox said, tweaking his light saber. "There! Now it should work!"

"You say that every time." Tiffany mumbled, sitting on the pet llama, which was singing the llama song.

"Tell that llama to shut up!" Donut yelled.

"It's way off key." Chris said.

"Be quiet, Hamster boy." Andrea hissed at Chris.

"All of you be quiet!" Selena yelled over the din they were making.

"Can we eat the cookie yet?" Ame asked.

"Not yet!" Selena called. "We must wait for the perfect time!"

"Yeah! The perfect time to give our cookie back to us!" Ed transmuted his arm so it had the dagger on it.

"You can't fight me! I'm your father's cousin's college roommate's uncle's sister's pet's old owner's sister-in-law's daughter!" Selena said smugly.

"So what does that make us?" Ed and Al said, trying to figure out what she said, since she said it so quickly.

"Absolutely **_NOTHING!_**" Ame laughed.

Just then, a giant whale jumped out of the water and ate the giant cookie.

"Dude! It just ate our cookie!" Donut yelled, pulling out some C4.

"No! Don't blow up the whale! That'll destroy the cookie!" Rachel yelled.

"If P/Q is a zero, then P is a factor of the final coefficient and Q is a factor of the leading coefficient." Chris said calmly. ((That is a mathematical formula according to my cousin Chris. I have no idea what it means.))

"What?" Donut stared at the others. "I'm the stupid one here. What's that supposed to mean?"

"Even I have no idea." Selena went back to watching the whale make faces at them.

"Come on! Let's get inside the whale and steal back the cookie!" Ame jumped at the whale and was instantly eaten. The others nodded and followed suit.

* * *

"Cool! We're in a whale!" Ame yelled, kicking the walls.

Everyone started playing music on the ribcage, except Ed and Al.

"We **_SHOULD _**be looking for my giant cookie!" Ed yelled. "Not being insane morons!"

"Hey! If we had used my plan, we could have gotten the cookie in 3 seconds!" Chris pulled charts out from his shoe and went into a lengthy explanation of how it would have been better.

"Wow... Your cousin is a genius Selena." Rachel muttered.

"Sorry for ever doubting he'd be a good addition to OU." Firefox chimed in. "We all thought he was an idiot obsessed with hamsters."

"'OU'?" Al stared.

"Otaku United!" Effie explained.

"We're a group of insane anime fanatics who have united for a common cause!" Donut beamed. "Though... I don't remember what that cause was... Selena's our leader."

"The cause was to be insane!" Ame said. "Also, we're against conforming to society! We shall not lose to normal people!"

"Hey! A flying hamster!" Chris wandered off nearer to the mouth. "Come back hamster!"

They all stared at him. "Well..." Ed muttered. "He's probably our best bet of getting outta here..."

**_TBC!

* * *

_**

Chris is based off of my cousin Chris, who came up with mostly everything Chris said and did. Thank God for Instant Messenger. Andrea was another one of my friends. Also, I got the idea for the Father's cousin's... joke from Spaceballs, but I did a twist to it. Anywho, as you can see, there will be another chapter to this fic! Until next time, goodbye!


	4. The End! NO!

**Chapter 4: The End! (NO!)**

Yep, this is the end of this fic. Don't worry though. There shall be another installment of Full Metal Cookie called Full Metal Milk! Then there will be Healthy Cookies... YUCK! Lol.

**SomeoneInThePastOfEarth: I won't hurt you, or were you talking to Ed?**

**Puppie-chan: Actually, you can. I'm plotting to make a guild on Gaia Online called Otaku United. You can't be in the fic, but you can join the guild when and if it's ever up.**

**enVii: Hey, I never said Envy didn't win the contest... Of course, I never said he did... Well... We'll assume he lost since his cooking sucks.**

**Firaga: Well, you should join Otaku United when I get the guild up. I will eventually...**

**Black-Angel-001: Er... Actually, I ate a lot of sugar before writing this... Yeah... I can't decide to take your review as an insult or a compliment. I'm thinking the latter though.**

**SamEdCarolSanoKatieHaru: Join Otaku United on Gaia Online when and if I ever get to creating it. Can I have a piece of that giant cookie too? Thankies!**

Yeah... Anywho, those who want an actual Otaku United, please go to Gaia Online . com (take out the space) and find me, sailorstar165. I need 20,000 GP to start a guild, and I only have 700. Also, Tiffany, the person in the fic, recently went to the hospital. She's out now, but I'd like to say: **GET WELL SOON!** Any and all Get Well Wishes shall be passed on. Here's the fic.

* * *

"Captain!" A man with a bandana over his head ran over to a person with a huge hat with a giant feather. 

"What is it?" The captain snapped.

"Sir, we have found Doby Mick!" The person, a crew member, said. "What shall we do?"

The captain turned and ran out onto the deck. "Good! We finally found you!" He threw a spear at the giant whale. They dragged the whale out of the water slightly. "Perfect!"

* * *

"Hey Al? I wish this thing didn't eat the cookie," said Ed. He was tired and hungry; they had been in the whale for a week. 

"Why don't you just steal the OU's food?" Al asked.

"Are you kidding? I'm afraid of those insane people!" Ed yelled. He was so weak, he couldn't even sit up.

* * *

**_Flashback_**

After sitting on the whale's tongue, the OU acted as if it was every day that they were trapped in whales. Selena had told them to pull out all the food they had to see how long they'd be able to last. Effie pulled out a ton of mustard. Donut had a lot of donuts, rations from Metal Gear Solid, and the food he had stolen from Lust's house. Ame had rice balls, pocky, and Ramen. Rachel had cookies which she had originally made from stolen ingredients to offer to her Squall shrine. Andrea had hamburgers and steak. Tiffany had sushi and llama milk from her pet llama. Firefox had food that looked as if it was from Star Wars, which it probably was.

Chris caught something out of the air, and to everyone's surprise, had a wingless hamster that hovered, cooking bacon. "Aw man! This isn't my hamsters! They cook sausage!" He handed the hamster to Selena. "I don't want it."

"Er..." Selena took the hamster. "Thanks." She glanced around at all the food they had. "Yes... This would be enough to last Otaku United about a month..."

"What about us!" Ed yelled. "Don't we get food?"

"If we were to share with you, we'd only have about 3 weeks worth. You do alchemy! Turn some of the whale into something edible!" Ame said, eating some Ramen.

* * *

**_End Flashback_**

"Those hogs! Why don't they just eat the fat kid!" He said, obviously referring to Donut.

Suddenly, the whale's mouth opened, and they all fell out onto a pirate ship.

"Hey... Is this Luffy's ship?" Ame glanced around.

"Maybe it's Hook's!" Rachel shouted. "I wanna give him a wedgy!"

"I wanna steal his wig!" Ame said.

"I don't think he where's a wig..." Firefox said.

The pirates on the ship just stared. The captain stepped forward. "Oh no! It's the OU and the Full Metal Alchemist!" He pointed at Al.

"Hey! I'm the Full Metal Alchemist!" Ed shouted.

"What? That shrimp is the Full Metal Alchemist?" A crew member muttered.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY BELONG IN THE WIZARD OF OZ!" ((I've always thought Ed should have been among the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz.)) Ed started beating the crap out of everyone on the ship.

"How'd he know who you guys were?" Al asked Selena and Tiffany, who were both calmly sipping tea.

"Hm? We had a run in with the guy when we were interviewing pirates for school," answered Selena.

"Oh yeah! We mistook this run down ship for the Dreaded Pirate Steve's ship." Tiffany said. At Al's confused stare, Tiffany added, "Selena's dad, Chris's uncle."

"Oh," was all Al could say.

Eventually, Ed's rampage destroyed most of the crew. The only crew member left was the one that had actually insulted Ed.

"I think I'll be going now..." The crew member started inching away.

"Wait! I smell treasure!" A strange boy in armor that looked like it was made from dragon hide jumped down. He grabbed the crew member's hand. "I knew it! THE RUNE OF PUNISHMENT!" He chopped off the guy's hand with one of his 2 katanas. He also stabbed the guy with a broadsword strapped to his back for good measure. "W007! I have the rune now!"

"Who's that?" Ed asked.

"Dude!" Donut walked up with Chris.

"Dude!" The boy answered. He had brown hair with grayish eyes. He had wolf ears and a tail, both of which were a silvery color.

"That's my brother, Ryu. He's the only one of us who actually has been caught by the men in white coats and put in one of the bouncy padded rooms." Selena explained. "Did you threaten the men in white coats again?" She asked Ryu.

"Yep! Said I'd give them eternal crotch pain and/or turn them into girls!" ((If you don't understand the reference... yeah... Bro's idea.)) He said with a smile.

"J0, w0lf d3m0n d00d, sm3ll 4ny 7r345ur3?" ((Jo, wolf demon dude, smell any treasure?)) Firefox asked.

"I smell cookies somewhere on the ship." He said, sniffing the air.

Al was stunned by the insane person. "Um... If he's your brother, how come he-"

"Huh? Lab accident. Donut's fault." Rachel answered for Selena. "That's if you're referring to the wolf ears."

They all followed Ryu to the bottom of the ship, where hordes of cookies were. Everyone looked at Ed expectantly.

"What!" Ed said, backing away from the crazy otaku. "You want me to transmute giant cookies for everyone?" After everyone nodded, he gave in. He clapped his hands together and created enough giant cookies for everyone, including the readers ((Ed: Hey, you all need something for sitting through this trash.)) ((Me: Ed! Be quiet! They like reading this fic!))

"Yes! He broke the ancient taboo of giant cookies!" Ryu shouted.

"Ancient taboo of giant cookies...?" Ed said, confused.

"Why do you think Lust and us Otaku were so intent on stealing the cookie?" Andrea asked.

"Uh... You all were fans and liked cookies too much?" Ed said.

"He's a moron, isn't he?" asked Tiffany to the air beside her. "Right Joe?"

Ed just sighed. "Come on Al, let's go home. Winry's probably wondering what the hell happened to us right now..." Al quickly followed and they left in an escape boat into the crimson sunset.

"Should we stalk him? I'm free for the next month. I thought getting the cookie would take longer." Ame said, taking out a schedule with 'Stalking, stalking, they have no idea I'm here, none whatsoever!" written on the top ((read my .hack/ fic if you don't understand the reference.))

"Yes. We should." Selena agreed.

"He has to have milk! I mean, what kind of person doesn't eat cookies with milk!" Ryu growled.

Tiffany nodded to her llama, which pulled out a notebook. Everyone became silent as it read what info they had about Edward Elric. "Ahem, the book says that Edward Elric hates milk more than anything else; that's probably the reason he's so short," you could hear a loud cry from across the waters "I AM NOT SHORT!" but the llama continued as if he had not been interrupted. "He only has milk in 2 ways: Stew and cookies."

Everyone murmured in agreement with the idea of stalking Ed for at least the milk. They all set sail toward Winry's house, where they were positive that Ed would be.

* * *

Like I said, this is not the end. Well, yes it is, BUT THERE SHALL BE A SEQUAL EVENTUALLY! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anywho, the Rune of Punishment refered to is from Suikoden IV. Luffy is from One Piece (which I wish I owned, but I don't.)

Oh, by the way, the word count for this chapter is 1,511


End file.
